October 31, 2020 – Fixer Uppers

There’s something about fixer uppers. They always seem to seduce me somehow. Maybe it’s the warped floors and the paneled walls or those oh-so-adorable-and-practical original, single pane, aluminum windows? Or perhaps it’s the dated bathrooms with turquoise fixtures and galvanized pipes that prove nearly impossible to resist? So cute! And the charm of the warped,

October 30, 2020 – Grandma was a klepto.

Have you ever been out to lunch with my grandma? You’d know if you did. At the end of the meal, the table would look quite bare. All of the creamer and butter and single-serve jams and jellies would be missing along with most of the silverware. Where did it go? Into grandma’s purse, of

October 29, 2020 – An open letter to a guy I once dated.

Hi ‘B’. It’s me. Do you remember me? I’m that neurotic, insecure white girl that met you at a hip-hop club back in the day. Doesn’t ring a bell? Need more info? Well, I had big hair and a big, toothy smile and I loved to dance. And one of your best friends lived up

October 28, 2020 – No soliciting. Think I’m kidding? Think again!

Thanks a lot, Sir Paul McCartney. You had to write that blasted song to make people think that everyone loves people just dropping by whenever they get the notion. “Someone’s knocking at the door, someone’s ringing the bell. Someone’s knocking at the door, someone’s ringing the bell. Do me a favor, open the door and

October 27, 2020 – All Things Endcap

Once, long ago, in a village far, far away, there lived a peasant woman. About 10 minutes away from her cottage, as the crow flies, stood the nearest market. It had nearly everything anyone could ever possibly want or need. Its inventory included assorted candies which were stored in glass jars (licorice, peppermints and hard

October 26, 2020 – Name that tune! Earworms, what happens when a song gets stuck in your head.

Billy Joel, would you please get out of my head?! I am tired of hearing about uptown girls and a particular state of mind that you’re in at the moment and only good people dying young. It has been nearly three hours and no matter what I do, I cannot seem to shake you. I

October 25, 2020 – How did a Samurai get in my house?

Huh? Who IS that? There’s some guy with a ponytail working out on my elliptical!! Wait a sec. He sort of looks familiar. Oh, hang on! Don’t call the police. It’s just my husband. But what the heck is he doing with a ponytail? Am I in some parallel universe where I married a ‘ponytail

October 24, 2020 – Hey, Ma! Where’d you go?

It’s such an odd thing when you’re speaking with your mother, when out of the blue she asks, “How’s your mom and dad?” Huh? Did I miss something? “Ummm. They’re doing well, I guess?” you respond. Have you had this experience before? It is a mind-blower. One day your parent is totally coherent and capable,

October 23, 2020 – Breathe through your mouth.

There are times in your life when it’s necessary to breathe through your mouth (BTYM). You folks with babies can probably relate to this. If you are a new parent and you haven’t yet mastered the technique, I’ll bet you’ll catch on soon! Maybe you’ve been able to tolerate the (multiple) daily diaper changes because

October 22, 2020 – Meat doesn’t mix with cleaning solution.

I have a confession to make. I am one of ‘those’ people. A bit vague? Sorry about that. Let me clarify (I’ll use an example that many people are familiar with). Back in the 80s, there was a very popular film called “When Harry Met Sally”. It starred Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan. Meg Ryan