November 15, 2020 – Dreams and Desires

Each day that I write, I never know where it’s going to take me. It can lead virtually anywhere. But that’s the beauty of it, I suppose. The possibilities are endless. Today I thought a lot about where this could potentially lead. I am enjoying writing more than any other creative outlet that I’ve pursued. I cannot explain it, but it brings me incredible joy. And wouldn’t it be something if it lead to something even greater? I imagine a “Wayne’s World” moment, when you’re just doing your thing and then somebody in the industry notices and says, “Hey, this girl’s got something!” If you’ve ever watched the movie, you’ll know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, you have to watch it. So many classic moments and so funny!! It’s in my ‘top 20 favorite comedy films of all time’. I still find myself quoting it, nearly 30 years after it was released. “Camera one, camera two. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?! We’re not worthy! If you’re gonna spew, spew into this. Ahh, Nuprin. Little, yellow, different.”

The other thing about writing is that you never know what will appeal to people. Sometimes I will spend 6 hours on a particular topic and no one even looks at it, let alone reads it. Sometimes I will spend 3 hours on a topic and I get all kinds of likes. And I should point out, when I say ‘all kinds of likes’, I’m talking about maybe 5. “Five people like what I have to say?! Woo-hoo!! I’ll take it!” Regardless of the potential appeal of what I write about, I guess I’ll just keep shooting from the 3-point line and hope that I score from time to time. And by that, I mean that I’ll keep putting content out there and hope that it resonates with you and others, at least enough that you’ll hit the ‘like’ or ‘follow’ button on occasion. It is very rewarding when I put so much of myself into something and people actually respond in a positive way. We all need an ‘Atta Boy’ or ‘Atta Girl’ now and then to continue to encourage us and keep us inspired.

Whatever the outcome, I have a goal. I have made a pact with myself that as long as I’m enjoying the process, I’m going to post every single day for at least a year. If it becomes something that I dread each morning and joy is no longer part of the process, I might have to ditch it. But that’s my goal. A year really isn’t that long when you think about it. It seems like I’m always saying to myself, “Where did the time go?” When I was a child, it felt like it stood still. Now, I cannot get it to slow down. And my desire, as I mentioned earlier, is to be ‘discovered’. Wouldn’t that be incredible? I know it’s pretty unlikely, but there’s nothing wrong with dreaming. I know it happened in “Wayne’s World” and it was just a fictional movie, but it does happen in real life, too. I know the Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond, got a book deal from her blog. If it can happen for Ree, maybe it can happen for me, too? By the way, it was a very well written book. I highly recommend it. I haven’t tried any of her recipes, but I really enjoyed her autobiography, “The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels – A Love Story”.

What does it take to be ‘discovered’? I think it has a lot to do with luck (and talent). If you’re already somebody in the industry, I think most publishers would hand you a book deal with nary a second thought about it. Your name alone would sell thousands of books. Seems like a pretty sure bet! But when you’re someone like me, just an average person, it takes quite a bit more than that. I actually know people that know people, but that means nothing. And as much as I’d like to ask them to ‘put in a good word for me’, I’m not going to do it. I’d feel like I would be using them because of who they know, and that seems kind of smarmy to me. No matter what, I will press on. And if luck (or fate) intervenes and I score a book deal or a movie deal? What an amazing thing that would be, wouldn’t it? Just getting some kind of compensation for doing something I really enjoy would be an incredible blessing. Years ago, I got compensated for selling my plasma. But I think I only made $25 and I certainly didn’t ‘enjoy’ it.

In my dream, I have a phone to my ear and I can hear these words at the other end of the line, “This is so-and-so from Gallery Books. We love your blog! We want to turn it into a book. It’ll surely be on the New York Times Bestseller List! We are so convinced it’s going to be successful, we’re going to offer you a $200,000 advance!” After I pick myself up off the floor, I’d respond with, “Two hundred thousand dollars for moi? You want to pay me to do something I love? You did say thousand didn’t you, two hundred thousand? Just checking. And will there be any shady business involved like having to meet some bigwig like Harvey Weinstein in his hotel room for a meet and greet? No. You’re sure about that? Ok, good. How about travel? I love to travel! Oh, I see. Travel is part of the deal. It’s required because I’ll need to promote the book in order to garner interest? And there will be some public speaking involved? Hmmm. That might be a problem. I don’t do so well in the public speaking department. You’ve got someone on the staff that could probably help me with that? Ok. I’m in! When do I start?!”

What I could do with $200,000!! It’s hard to dream that big. But again, I know it’s possible. When Jim Carrey was utterly broke, he wrote himself a check for $10,000,000 (ten million) and visualized his success and IT HAPPENED! That’s how much he earned from making “Dumb and Dumber”. Speaking of, that’s another one of the great American comedy classics. It is silly and ridiculous, but full of so many hilarious, unforgettable scenes. I also find myself quoting that movie on a regular basis. I actually took a ghost tour at the Stanley hotel in Estes Park where some of the movie was filmed, and they told us a little story about Jim Carrey. I guess he had a ghostly encounter while he was there and was so spooked that he hightailed it out of there. I stayed up all night trying to connect with ‘Casper’ or one of his buddies. I even took a bunch of photographs. I don’t think they were too interested because the night/morning was uneventful. I didn’t see or hear anything, and when I developed the photos, I searched through each image meticulously and came up with nothing. I had hoped for at least one orb, but alas.

Guess what I’m going to do tonight? I’m going to write myself a check for $200,000! No, silly, I’m not going to cash it because the bank would get kind of upset with me if I were to do that. It far exceeds what I actually have in my account so I’d probably just end up paying a bunch of overdraft fees and penalties and that would serve to do nothing more than hurt me financially rather than help. Bad idea altogether. But I am going to write that check and put it on my refrigerator. Maybe the dream won’t happen, but maybe it will? You’ll never know if you don’t try, right? Dream big, my friends! Find what you love to do and go after it!! Just don’t quit your day job. You still have bills to pay. Maybe you’ll make it big, maybe you won’t. But in the end, that isn’t what matters. What matters is that you’re having fun! And we can all use a little more fun these days!


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