June 16, 2021 – Saying Goodbye

I am not ready to say goodbye, not just yet. My husband keeps telling me to call my brother and break the news but I can’t seem to do it. The last few times we’ve communicated, he’s told me how much he’s struggling (with depression). Knowing this, I don’t feel good about dropping a bomb on him by telling him I’m moving to another state. He’s done so much for me (including donating his kidney in order to save my life) and I know he isn’t going to take the news well. The thing is, I shouldn’t make decisions based on how people are going to respond to them, although that is what I have a tendency to do. I never want to hurt people or make them feel bad. In fact, I’m struggling right now over having to contact the realtors (who we had prepare CMAs) to ‘break the news’ about who is ‘in’ and who is ‘out’. So far, we’ve had two realtors walk through our home and provide us with rough figures on how much it’s worth. Tomorrow, we have a third one scheduled for a walk-through.

We almost made the decision about who to choose (out of the initial two) until I thought it best to speak with my old boss about who he’d recommend. Oddly enough, he named the two agencies we had selected as the two he wouldn’t work with. Figures! “Who would you pick if you were going to sell your home?” I asked him. He gave us a name of a woman who has had years of experience in the industry (at a reputable company) and is extremely personable. That’s what we’ve been struggling to find in either of the two realtors we’ve previously met up with. The first one we had wonderful rapport with and I felt very comfortable with her, but the agency she works for doesn’t have the best reputation in the community. When I’ve brought up the agency to people in the past, they usually make a face and groan. No one can state exactly why they feel this way but I suspect it has to do with the agency’s business practices and marketing strategies.

The second realtor we most certainly did not connect with BUT she definitely ‘did her homework’ when it came down to determining a value for our home. She looked up 10 ‘comps’, whereas, the other realtor only looked up 3. She’s also had decades of experience in the industry. What’s really interesting is that my old/previous boss was very clear that she (realtor #2) was one person he wouldn’t work with because she’s standoffish and puts out ‘bad vibes’. It’s funny because that’s what my husband and I noticed, too. Fortunately, because he was able to provide us with the name of a reputable realtor (who he would use himself), we’re hopeful that this one will have all of the qualities we’re looking for and we can then finally make a decision and move forward with getting our home ‘on the market’. Until then, we still have so much to do! Oh my gosh, we’ve been working our tails off. I’m exhausted but it feels so good to finally complete things we started years ago.

And let me tell you, I’m learning a lot about myself and what I can and cannot do. I actually volunteered to ‘pressure wash’ our perimeter fence yesterday. Haha! I literally got through a half of one fence panel and thought to myself, “I cannot do this!” It’s one thing to hold the sprayer wand and point it towards the ground in order to clean off the sidewalk (for example), it’s another to hold it high above your head in order to clean off the tippy-top of an eight-foot-high fence. I don’t have the upper arm strength to do it for very long. I also am not familiar with ‘proper pressure washing techniques’ as I went about it all wrong. Apparently, the proper technique involves standing off to the side (for efficiency and efficacy). I, on the other hand, stood a couple of feet from the fence and shot it straight on. As a result, I became soaked as well as covered (from head to toe) in assorted sizes of dried, dark brown paint chips (that had loosened as a result of the blast of water).

I actually thought I had removed all of the paint when I cleaned up later; however, I learned this morning that I had a few stowaways (which sprung out of my bra when I went to take a shower). What’s with all the weird stuff getting lodged in my bra, anyway? Last time, it was prescription medication. This time, it’s paint chips. Come on! Potato chips is one thing, but paint chips?! Good grief, I don’t even want to try and imagine what to expect next time! How come it’s never anything ‘good’? Speaking of ‘good’, I do have some good news! Aside from one item (a brand new natural gas range that I bought prematurely when we bought the house 7 years ago), I have either given away or sold everything else!! The old table saw with the broken switch (that has been literally sitting under our carport for the past two years), gone! The weird, warped fence panels (covered in spider egg-sacs) that my hubby removed, they’re outta here! The old tires from my husband’s truck that have been taking up precious space in the garage, goodbye!

The one thing I’m the most excited about ‘rehoming’ is the carpet we’ve had stored in the shed for the past 3-4 years. It’s actually carpet tile, 280 to be precise. Each tile/square was 2′ X 2′ or 4 square feet. It took up a lot of room in the shed and made it difficult to reach necessary things like lawn mowers and snow blowers. After we purchased the carpet, my husband installed some of it in the gym/entertainment room in our home. He had every intention of installing it in our sunken livingroom but had yet to get around to it. When we asked each of the realtors (who had stopped by in order to do a CMA) whether it was worth our trouble installing it, they both said they wouldn’t bother. “More than likely,” one suggested, “The new owners will just rip it out and replace it anyway.” Hey, sounds good to me! One less major project to complete before we hit the road. We’ve already managed to make a huge dent in our ‘honey do’ list but still have a long ways to go; one less thing to worry about doesn’t hurt my feelings one bit!

What does make me worry is ‘saying goodbye’. I have yet to say goodbye to my brother Clover or to my mom (or any of my immediate family). I have told my children and my best (male) friend, I’ve even told my next door neighbor, but I cannot bring myself to tell the people who probably should have heard it first. When I met up with my old boss today, I even told him. He said he didn’t blame me, especially when I provided the reasons as to why. He’s actually considering moving himself, but not for another two years. His wife wants to be closer to her daughter and grandkids. I totally get it. Some other people and things that it’ll be tough to say goodbye to are my best (female) friend, along with my dentist, medical doctor(s), dog boarder, hairdresser, and psychologist. It’s going to be tough starting all over again! I’ll also miss the convenience of having everything so close (one of the benefits of living in a small town).

If I need a blood draw, it’s a 5 minute walk from my house. Groceries? That’s a 3-minute drive. And if I just want to take a walk (in order to exercise), all I have to do is go out my front door and follow the sidewalk. A half a mile ‘down the road’ is a designated hiking area with numerous trail systems. The nature and beauty is abundant where I currently live. I am really going to miss it! As hard as it’s going to be, I still think leaving is the right thing to do. It’s time to say ‘goodbye’ to this town and say ‘hello’ to a new one. I just wish I knew precisely where we were moving to and had a move-in date already scheduled because I don’t think we’re going to last long living in my father-in-law’s basement (along with my husband’s sister and brother-in-law). It’s tight enough quarters for two people, let alone 4 people and a large dog. I suspect at that time that I’ll be relying heavily on this blog to keep me from losing my sh*t, because when I don’t write, I have a tendency to ruminate and it usually puts me in a pretty crappy mental/emotional state. And I’m telling you, I’d rather not ‘go there’. It’s not a happy place.

Hey! Thanks for putting up with me another night. Enjoy the rest of your week…and (hopefully) I’ll see you tomorrow.


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